Belle. My White Wolf Within

Her spirit was such she could only have been an angel. I made a promise to her when she died, in honour of that spirit, that I would be my white wolf within. I had no idea of the road this would take me on, but I had absolute faith that she would be with me. She still is.

I wrote White Wolf Within before Belle died, and it was whilst she was still alive that I came across the story of the white wolf. I was beginning to explore what my spirituality meant to me and also various aspects of self healing. My writing in many ways is about healing, deep inner healing.

The story of the white wolf is native American in origin. One day a child sees two men fighting. The child asks an elder, “Why do men fight?” The child is told, “Men have two wolves within them. The grey one is all that is dark. Hate, anger, fear, doubt, deceit. The white one is all that is light. Love, peace, courage, trust, truth.” The child then asks, “Which one wins?” The answer, “Whichever one is fed.” (Please note here, this applies to any gender!)

In other words, that part of ourselves we pay attention to, is the part of ourselves that we become, we are. Do we react to life and all it throws at us as the grey wolf would, or do we respond as the white wolf? Belle was a white German Shepherd. Strong, powerful, capable of harming if she so wished, fiercely protective of me.

Yet she was the most loving, joyful, gentle soul I have known. Add to that courageous. Belle suffered from a serious disorder which eventually would have led to a horrific death. In her her vets visits, they called her an angel, because she so gently let them handle her, no growling, attempting to bite, not even a showing of the teeth.

In the manner of her dying, Belle taught me perhaps one of the most valuable lessons I have learnt. To take pain with grace. To be the White Wolf Within. There is not a day goes by that I do not miss her physical presence, but there is not a day goes by that I am without her in spirit. She will always be with me and she lives forever now in the pages of White Wolf Within.

I hope you find your own white wolf within. May she guide you always.